Dadster: I thought you were going to psycho-analyze me or something.

Errn: No, no, I just was wondering. I'll remember to give you a heads-up if I ever am analyzing you.

Dadster: Oh good, thanks. That way I can prepare answers so that I seem better than I am.

Moments of Wisdom from Kellbell

"Ice gets watered down really fast."

Emails from Hip Old Folks. If by hip, you mean hip breaking.

Errn-- This is the music video I helped in!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B3GribQCg6c&feature=player_embedded http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B3GribQCg6c&feature=player_embedded They just put it on youtube today. Its this provo group called "Can't Stop Won't Stop" and the video is of a bike jump at Alpine. You can see me around 2:14!! Hahaha.... I wouldn't do the jump itself though, because I don't have a death wish. But I acted as doctor lady for pretty much the whole day, disinfecting and anitizing and nursing wounds... and trust me, there were a whole heckuva lotta wounds to be dealt with. So I dealt. Haha :) Cool song, right?

Dadster--Check this out. My daughter, the cameo video star!

Uncle Bob--Erin looks like she is having a great time and it looks like they needed a doctor. As for the rest of them one word comes to mind...morons! My rule is simple. Never engage in a hobby that can get you killed (or a lifetime seat in a wheelchair). The song did rock though....see I can still be "cool"

Kaytay--I realize it's November and I am arriving very late to this discussion (as always), but I must say the following things: Firstly: Dad? Did you really just say the song "rocked"? *cough cough*...no one under 30 has actually said that since the 90s. Just saying. Secondly: Erin, I'm jealous. Having been raised with three brothers, and always having been a tomboy myself (I wasn't actually a girl until 7th grade true story) things like this draw me like a moth to flame. Not that I would do it myself, although I would WISH that I could work up the guts to do it. I think the most dangerous thing I've ever done was jump my bike off into the 2-foot ditch at our south fork house.

Karen--So just for educational purposes, what is the current terminology to indicate that a song rocks?

Dadster--It doesn't matter you old geezerette, you wouldn't understand anyway. I'm entering my second childhood, so it all makes sense to me. Yo dog.

Momsicle--Heh, heh, heh....perhaps if you have to ask...? Umm, I may suggest (having taught teenagers for 2 years just recently): 'wicked', 'sick', 'freaking awesome', and 'kewl' for starters or sometimes a combination of said terms.... ;-)
"That song is wicked!" "Dude, that group is sick, they are so good!" "Whoa! Did you hear their last CD? It was freaking awesome!!"
But hey, FYI, I think it's perfectly fine for someone who actually IS over 30 to use 'rocks' because we don't want to sound like a bunch of teenagers, do we? [I actually debated putting 'unsophisticated' or 'uneducated' or some other adjective in front of teenagers but decided not to because I do not want to offend the younger crowd...including those in their second childhood who may think they are younger....]

Errn--All you really need to know is the addition of "Freaking" onto pretty much anything. For example,
"Freaking A" = frustration and/or anger "Freaking great" = marvelous and pretty much anything else you can think of.
One favorite I find that Utards like to say is "Stinkin." "Stinkin cute, stinkin awesome,' etc. Just FYI.

Karen--Utards are people from Utah?

Dadster--Certain ones. It's the western version of red neck.

Adumb--To follow up with freaking, I might add that there is the slightly more expressive and vulgar friggin, used interchangeably with freaking. Mom, by implying you would use "unsophisticated" with teenagers but decided not to in order not to offend anyone...doesn't that actually make it worse?

Momsicle--To Adam--Duh.

Karen--What a stinkin' education I have gotten today. What a wicked sick day it has been. Freakin G! :>)

Momsicle--I think you have to use 'stinkin' in front of another adjective like 'cute' or 'awesome'. ;) You could say--

'What a legit education I got today. This day has been totally sick: No more ID10T calls + that wicked cute dude finally asked me out = Freaking Awesome‼

Karen--I have now been properly schooled! Freaking Awesome!

Kaytay--Oh dear. What have I done?!

Dadster--I'll say! Next time you see Aunt Karen she'll be wearing her shorts on backwards, hanging down to her ankles with a green New York Yankees hat on worn sideways (with, of course, the tag still on it). And she'll go by the name "Spookie".

Adumb--All of your verbiage is viable except for 'legit.' They stopped using that one shortly after MC Hammer hung up his pants in the proverbial closet. 'Wicked' still seems like more of a Boston thing, but I guess you could use it...

Dadster--Yeah---legit. Give me a break.

Momsicle--Please. Someone who even uses the phrase 'verbiage is viable' doesn't have a leg to stand on, Mr. Linguist Person.

And Dave? This from the man who admits he's in his second childhood? I'm not listening to someone with the mind of a child either....

Errn--I must confess to regularly using the word "legit."

It must be where she picked it up from.

I hang my head in shame.

Momsicle--It's okay, Erin. You are a 'legit' young person. I didn't listen to your brother OR your father for advice on this.

Dadster-- Clearly, the kind of deep, thought provoking dialogue we Paulukaitises are known for. A fitting conclusion? If only I could burp over e-mail...

Uncle Bob-- OK let me get this straight...

I am getting grief from the child that I brought into the world and who I have fed, clothed and educated for the last 17 years because I used the term "rocked."

I majored in Geology....I "rocked" my way through 4 years of college.

As for Karen's new look: I suggest you borrow the name that I use when I overnight in Detroit, don all my "bling" and want to blend in with the crowd: "White Chocolate."

Karen-- I like White Chocolate. I'll go with that!

WC

Thanksgiven.

Homeskillet: We are doing our Thanksgiving hands today and I was thankful for my school teachers, imagination, internet connection, and electricity...

Errn: Sweet.

Homeskillet: So what are you thankful for?

Errn: I dunno. Lots. Coupons. Malt-o-meal cereal on sale at Macey's.

Homeskillet: Oh.

Speaking of Goober-natorial Elections...

Errn: Dad, Am I a bad person because I did not vote?

Dadster: With the pathetic contingent of "candidates" (and I use that term loosely) in Georgia, the greater question is, "Am I a bad person because I did not shoot myself instead of voting?"

An exchange between Dadster and Errn today.

Errn: Guess who got another A on another Linguistics test today??

Dadster: Greg?.......Congratulations. As Cher used to say to her ex-husband, muy Bono.

An interaction betwixt Adumb and Jimbo

Jimbo: Papa, Where baby sticks?

Adumb: No se, mijo, no se.

Jimbo: Aller au parc?

Adumb: Como? A donde?

Jimbo: Baby sticks aller au parc!


His tri-lingual conclusion: The baby sticks went to the park.

A moment of wisdom from Dadster

When you're under stress...
When you just can't seem to do anything right...
When all the world seems to be against you...
When you feel like you're as low as you can possibly get...
Nothing puts the Spark back into life like a couple of Subway chocolate chip cookies and a big ol' frosty Diet Coke.

A Bonus Moment from Chaluk Potack

Chaluk, Dadster's Godfather, was once quoted by Adumb as saying the following:

"Mes dirbam kai vyrai ir mežam kai vyrai."

What does it translate to, you may ask?

"We work like men, we pee like men."

Errn is helpful.

To Adumb and Hwendy.

"What would you guys do without me?? You wouldn't have shoes, and you would both smell bad."

Some Kelbell Quotations, via Hwendy

"I am trying to cut the lettuce, but my fingers keep getting in the way."



Adumb: "Holy salt, Kelly."

Kellbell: "Its not salt, Batman, its pepper."

A Classic Adumb, Errn, and Momsicle exchange

Momsicle: "If they all jumped off a building, would you?"

Errn: "If it looked fun!"

Adumb: "If they had jellybeans!!"

Just a few little dittys found on the wall-to-wall betweixt Errn and Adumb

Errn:

So remember that one time, in the 70s, if memory serves me well, when you owned that little pawn shop in downtown Boston, and I came up to visit after they gave me parole, because your dog was still under house arrest, and we went out to dinner at that theme restaurant with the mermaids and pirates? But then, you swore you saw JFK in the men's room, and you wanted me to go see, but I couldn't because of that whole eye patch thing at that time, so you took a photo but had your thumb over the lens so I couldn't tell if it actually was him?

yeah, those were good times.

Adumb:

Your memory doesn't quite serve you correctly. It wasn't JFK, rather it was Nikita Khrushchev. It was also mighty hard trying to put my thumb over the lens instead of another digit, but I think it worked. It was Nikita's idea, really....and it was 1971 specifically. That was your second parole as I recall; I am so glad you stopped smuggling gummy bears and horchata across the Canadian-Idahoan border. You were busted so many times. ¡Qué bien que te hayas arrepentido, 'mana!

Errn:

Oh, but of course. How could i forget?
At least the gummy bear smuggling was a step down from the buttercream smuggling that I orchestrated in the 1937 while we were living in Montana. Those Alaskans are just so dang addicted to their buttercream. Great customers, great customers. I believe at that time you were teaching ballroom dancing to senior citizens on Thursday nights at the local YMCA, though that was just a cover up for the somewhat illegal wig shop you were running out of the back of your car.

Adumb:

Indeed, the best buttercream customers were always found in Alaska. I remember well the day when I shut down the wig shop of questionable legality when I discovered I was deathly allergic to purple wigs. Like-ta died, I did.

Errn:

Mm. Them was hard times. Look how far we've come, thanks to brave souls like Bob Dole and Walter Cronkite who got us where we are today.

An email from the Father, October 27, 2010

Dadster said:

I swear this is true because it just happened.

I am working in St. Louis this week. Objective observation: St. Louis is a communist country, evidenced by its proclivity to offer Pepsi products in virtually every establishment where carbonated beverages are sold. Truly, I’m a stranger in an unfriendly land.

So when I get back to the hotel tonight I decide to walk over to a nearby McDonalds, where I know I’ll be able to find a Diet Coke fresh from the tap. (McDonalds does not rank very high on the scale of quality Diet Coke, but that’s a story for another day). I walk to the counter to place my order and I can’t help but notice the name tag of the young lady who happily serves me—Tunisia. Clearly, her parents excelled in geography.

Errn's response:

oh my. that is just beautiful.
countries.... that just opens up a whole nother bag of baby names i never even thought of before.
want to know what the new name of your first granddaughter by me will be?
I'm thinking, either Malaysia, Sierra Leone, or maybe Zamibia.

His response:

I like cities. For example:

Zimbabwe

Nairobi

Albuquerque

Omaha

Dubuque (spelled, of course, D’buque)

The list goes on.

What started out as an innocent comment.

The following was a facebook conversation betwixt Berter and Errn, Monday, October 25, 2010.

Erin: You're weird.

Brynna: gee thanks. I'm glad you think so highly of me.

Erin: I didn't say I didn't like it.

Brynna: well... you're a creeper.

Erin: You're stupid.

Brynna: You have no shame.

Erin: Just cause i don't have a problem with walking down the hall in my underpants.

Brynna: Yeah, normal people don't do that. So i guess YOU are the weird one... That's right, i just turned the tables on YOU.

Erin: Ask anyone you know if they would be willing to walk around their own home in their underpants and any regular person would say yes. guaranteed.

Brynna: In front of the GIANT window in your upstairs hallway. while your family is still home...

Erin: 1. my family has already seen me in my underpants=no big deal.

2. there is a GIANT tree in front of the GIANT window=no big deal

3. i have actually done this before, without your knowledge of it=no big deal.

Brynna: Dearest erin, 1. that tree is NOT giant. and it doesnt go up that high. 2. people could walk up to the door and ring the doorbell and happen to glance in the window at such a moment. 3. the fact that you have already done this only proves my point that you are indeed weird. 4. am i so WRONG for not wanting people to see me wearing NOTHING!?! 5. you yourself told me you have no shame....... AKA, I win.

Erin: Underwear is definitely something. just sayin. now if we were talkin straight up NEKKID, now THATS a different story.

Brynna: Well then, at least you have SOME shame.

Erin: Well. I didn't say i wouldn't do it.

Just... probably not while anyone else was there.

Hello. My name is Erin Paulukaitis.

Of the family of Paulukaiti.

We are a peculiar sort, you see.

For one thing, we have a last name that is eleven letters long.
Thats kind of a lot.

But we work it.

Even though I live in Utah, and the rest of my family lives in Georgia, we keep in contact throughout pretty much every day.

Because of this somewhat constant communication, we have some peculiar conversations, via text message, facebook, telephone, and of course e-mail.

I recently decided that I need to share these fabulous conversations with Alllll the internets and its people. So, here we are.

This is a no-judging zone.

Please enjoy the (somewhat, generally) good-hearted fun that is bound and guaranteed to ensue as you read.

UPDATED DAILY! Live it, love it, learn it, Holla.